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The connection between bacon and the crime rate

When I first read the headline on our website, “Prisons Pull Pork”, I thought that was a great way to keep the prisoners busy, by having them prepare pork in one of my favorite ways. Then, I realized that they weren’t actually pulling pork for a juicy barbecue sandwich, but getting rid of pork products as a whole from the prison system.

That’s right! Last week, the Federal Bureau of Prisons (BOP) decided to remove pork from the menu at its 122 facilities, effective Oct. 1, the start of their new fiscal year.

At first, this might seem like a terrible idea. In fact, The National Pork Producers Council is asking the BOP for a more detailed explanation for their decision to do away with pork products, as it will not only have an small impact on the demand of pork, but more importantly it could set a precedent for other government agencies to follow suit.

The bureau never truly explained why it stopped serving pork. Initially, the bureau told The Washington Post that pork was an expensive option and that a survey of inmates found it was not a popular option. They have since announced they will continue serving pork roast, but not a word about bringing back sausage, pork chops or even bacon.

If you ask me, this might be the greatest idea in the history of mankind! We have more people in prison, per capita, than any other country in the world. But, if someone is thinking about committing a crime and they weigh the chances of doing “hard time”, they may have second thoughts when they realize the slammer doesn’t serve bacon anymore! This medieval tactic may be even more harsh than solitary confinement! The pork belly just might be the answer to lowering crime rates and if that is the case, someone in our government system is actually a genius.

In my house, the sound of the sizzle and the grease filling the air will make up for any disagreement about who gets the downstairs TV or who may or may not have forgotten to unload the dishwasher. Maybe, just maybe, bacon can make our world a little more copacetic. Heck, let’s send some to Washington to see if the flavorful strip of goodness can get politicians to cross party lines and get something accomplished or ship a pound or two to the other side of the globe. If bacon can’t put a stop to century-old wars, nothing will!

Stephen Colbert agrees! Here is his take on bacon supposedly being poorly rated by the incarcerated.

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