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God the dog and me

I was sitting on my front porch one hot summer day

My head hung low. Things were not going my way.

My money’s almost gone, I thought with great alarm

If hog prices do not turn around I’ll have to sell the farm.

With just my dog at my side, I prayed long and hard,

When a long black car pulled up to my yard,

An Asian businessman emerged, “What do I do now?”

I stood up to greet him and the dog said, “Bow.”

I followed Rover’s orders and the man was soon my friend,

He wanted locally grown pork and would offer many yen.

Money was no object, he’d pay handsomely —

Most any problem can be solved by God, the dog and me.


My wife was hoppin’ mad one day and I did not know why,

She’d left in a huff without even saying goodbye.

I couldn’t think of anything that I’d have done to make her mad,

So it must have been what I hadn’t done that had been so bad.

“Lord I just can’t think of anything, yesterday she was fine.”

I looked to the dog for sage advice, and he said, “Whine.”

You know boy that’s a good idea, I’ll pick some flowers as well,

So I grabbed a nice bottle — a kind she thinks is swell.

Just then she walked in and saw the bouquet and the wine I’d brought,

“For my birthday honey that’s so nice I thought that you forgot!

Just when I thought you’d been a jerk, you turned out as sweet as can be.”

A birthday disaster barely averted by God the dog and me.


Whenever I need some perspective ‘cause I am feeling blue,

The dog sits down beside me and I know he feels it too.

And when things are going wrong, and when the times get tough,

I just ask my dog how he feels and he says, “Ruff.”

So for the sake of my dog, I pray for God to brighten up my day,

When life’s path gets dark, this always brightens up the way.

So say a prayer and pat your dog when trouble comes to be,

For I’ve found no challenge is too big  for God the dog and me.

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